Let's be honest here, dudes. We're totally screwing things up/over/to hell. Look around. Our brains/lives/relationships are a goddamn mess/disaster/train wreck. We procrastinate. Our goals/dreams/aspirations are gathering dust like that ancient cereal in the back of your pantry/pair of shoes you haven't worn since high school/guitar you swore you'd learn to play. We're clueless.

Maybe it's time we tried harder/faced facts/admitted defeat and just accepted our fate?

“Two. Designed for Your Pleasure"

You guys are about this, right? This is the real deal, the kind of action that gets your blood pumping. No room for pussies here, only those who crave it all. We're talking about getting dirty and feeling every fiber of the experience.

• Forget that boring stuff you’ve been reading.
• Here's where the real fun is.
• Feel what you deserve: a wild, powerful night.

You're not demanding. We’re just saying you the truth.

fellas: Please Fuck Me Fucking Now

Look, I'm not Playing. I'm feeling it right now and I need some Action. Don't Screw around with Chat, just Hit that already. I'm Hot and waiting for you to Get down and dirty.

Man up, I know you want to.

Help! These Assholes {Want to Fuck Me|Are Trying To Get In My Pants

I mean, come on! It's like they can't Read a Room. I've been trying to Be Firm, but they just {Keep Coming Back|Won't Leave Me Alone . It's getting {ReallyCreepy.

• Perhaps It's Time I Call the Police.
• For Real| This is getting Totally Unacceptable.

Let Me Be Clear, I just want to Live My Life in Safety! Is that too much to ask?

Bro's crank Fucking Wild

Tonight, we're gonna make it rain. I'm talking about a party for the ages. We gotta get wasted and go bananas. I've got {a playlist on fire|epic beats that will have you sweating.

We're gonna rage all night long. So, are you ready to party like there's no tomorrow?

Let's make get more info this a night to remember.

Fuck It, I'm Calling the Guys

Sometimes, life/shit/problems just gets too much/out of hand/stupid. You're tired/pissed off/done and the only solution is to hang out with your friends/grab some beers/get wasted. It doesn't matter what you're doing/working on/feeling. Just grab your phone and call up the bros/boys/crew. They'll understand/be there for you/probably judge you no matter what.

• It's a rite of passage/guy thing/solid plan
• Beer solves everything, right?
• They'll probably tell you to chill out/make fun of your situation/suggest a wild plan.